There are times I wonder why we do the things we do. Even the things we do unconsciously. What is our drive, our motivation? Do we live our lives to the fullest? Are we supposed to do so?

I got a wake-up call three years ago. Literately. Couldn’t sleep on a hot summers eve. I was hit by a voice, loud and clear, saying: You have to start recording some of your tunes and make an album. My reaction was immediate: I began to tremble all over the place, and my brain was working overtime (not quite the condition to have a good sleep). It felt like a battle: my brains still on the opposite side (“Who on earth wants to hear your music?!”, “Do you REALLY think there’s even one person who’s willing to play on your album?!”, “What about the money? You have a family to support. This is WAY above your pay grade! You can’t afford it.”, “You’ll NEVER succeed!”), while my body was telling me to let go, to have faith, to believe for just once in my life…

I guess I don’t have to tell you, it was a… special night. But although I got just a few hours of rest, the day after I still felt energized. Despite my non-cooperative brain cells… So I came up with a suggestion. I said to my brain: “What if I consider this insane idea to be a seedling? Seeds need water. So I’ll water this seed a period. I nurture it and will see if this idea will ground. Maybe even grow some roots (the stronger, the better!), so it can evolve into a strong PLAN. How about that?”. Knowing that this ‘idea’ wasn’t the first one going to die before thoughts moved to deeds, Brains agreed.

And so my journey began. For at least three months I spoke to no one about my crazy idea (not even my wife!) while nurturing my seedling. And you know what? With the love and care on every hour, every day, week by week, my seed became a very young but strong tree, rooted in my heart. Stronger than I’ve ever imagined. And I started to believe that it could be possible. Despite all the fears my brains were throwing at me from time to time.

So what’s my motivation on this matter? Well, I guess you can say it’s a ‘calling’. A strong need to express. Whether people like it or not. It’s a kind of legacy for my only child, my beloved son, as well. Long when I’m gone, my music’s still reaching out to him. Another motivation is that I want to inspire to some extent. Because I believe music can. And hopefully, my music does. But that’s up to you!

Since I’ve started this musical journey, one thing I’m sure of. Whatever I will achieve, I’ll never regret the day I listened to my inner voice and started to nurture my seedling! It’s been exciting, thrilling, sometimes nerve-wracking, awesome, challenging but probably very fulfilling!

I wish you’ll find the courage to be quiet sometimes. Give your inner voice the opportunity to be revealed. Nurturing your seedlings is worth it!

2 replies
  1. Marjolijn de Galan
    Marjolijn de Galan says:

    Lieve HaPe,
    Steeds als ik dit verhaal hoor, raakt het me. Ik vind het zo mooi, hoe je de wens hoorde en er naar luisterde en besloot het zaadje te voeden en het met love en care te omringen. En wat voor gaafs daar nu is uit opgebloeid. Ik kan niet anders dan geloven dat deze vibe van jou z’n weg gaat vinden en als een steen in de vijver mooie, steeds groter wordende rimpelingen veroorzaakt. There you go.
    X, Marjolijn

    • dZ
      dZ says:

      Hoi Marjolijn,

      Wat fijn om te horen. Het voelt goed om deze kant op te gaan en me daarin te ontwikkelen! Ik voel ook steeds minder angst om mezelf op deze manier te laten zien. Da’s wel heul fijn ? Dankjewel voor je mooie woorden! Dikke knuffel!


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